You think fear and the need to blend in was something Balotelli cared deeply about?
I was referring to trauma when using Balotelli as an example. The blending in to me are possibily players like Moise, Ekhator, each players experience is similar but its all about how it lands. It could land as trauma that decides how you internalise it.
Balotelli was adopted by a white family at a young age, he didnt see many blacks around him but clearly felt as an outsider. Moise Kean for example had his family and a smaller community but the message he possibily received as a kid was to fit in otherwise theyre gonna throw us out.
I think Balotelli may have felt that conforming wasn't an option due to the racism he encountered, leading to a more rebellious behaviour. He might express frustrations through his actions and choices, seeking to challenge the status quo, always the centre of mockery. He just thought fuck that shit im gonna be me, and even more than that im gonna give pleasure to these white assholes by behaving more erratic, and slowly that turned him into who he was.