So last night I went to an Italien restaurant near my neighborhood in the center of Lisbon. I'll try anything once, even if it gave off a vibe of being a slightly upscale Olive Garden with a high proportion of American tourists who go there.
Sure enough, we are in-between two tables where the retired and semi-retired are busy speaking 'Murican. They probably overheard my wife and I speaking to the staff in Portuguese and to each other in 'Murican English.
They seemed to all order various pastas or pizzas, and I'm the weirdo ordering the secretos do maiale. So the guy to the table at my left is eyeing them. He leans over and asks, "How are the secretos?" Not bad. Not bad at all. Portuguese can't screw up pork.
We have a brief friendly chat. And all my brain can do, a la a Tourette's Syndrome, is get stuck thinking, "Don't mention the wife's Mar-a-Lago face. Whatever you do, don't mention the wife's Mar-a-Lago face."
Fortunately I was successful. But damn, she was scary-looking. Like the product of a demented science experiment that had gone wrong. Like the reconstructed face from a horrible car accident. But she did that willfully. She thought she looked better. You just don't see that here other than the American tourists.
Sure enough, we are in-between two tables where the retired and semi-retired are busy speaking 'Murican. They probably overheard my wife and I speaking to the staff in Portuguese and to each other in 'Murican English.
They seemed to all order various pastas or pizzas, and I'm the weirdo ordering the secretos do maiale. So the guy to the table at my left is eyeing them. He leans over and asks, "How are the secretos?" Not bad. Not bad at all. Portuguese can't screw up pork.
We have a brief friendly chat. And all my brain can do, a la a Tourette's Syndrome, is get stuck thinking, "Don't mention the wife's Mar-a-Lago face. Whatever you do, don't mention the wife's Mar-a-Lago face."
Fortunately I was successful. But damn, she was scary-looking. Like the product of a demented science experiment that had gone wrong. Like the reconstructed face from a horrible car accident. But she did that willfully. She thought she looked better. You just don't see that here other than the American tourists.
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